SPROUTS GO POSTAL

Right Sprout
Left Sprout
Nothing says crazy like a postal worker with sprouts coming at you from every angle.
But good grief man, take a little pride in your appearance. You would never catch Mr. McFeeley lookin' like he just came off of a 3 day coke bender...

...or maybe you would?

THE TURKEY WITH SPROUTS

Sprouts love the holidays, so chances are there may be more than one turkey showing up at your Thanksgiving table this year. Stay alert, don't let the Tryptophan dull your senses, and if you see something, say something because these are the people you pretend to care about the most! Have a great day, turkey!

THE SUPERIOR SPROUT

Do you see it?
If not, let's ENHANCE...
There it is!! In its grainy pixelated glory.

So what do you do when a superior at work is flappin' his flamin' red sprouts in a subordinate's face?

Do you:
a) Sneak up behind him with an Exacto and cut off those sprouts at the source?
b) Man up and just tell him he needs to tuck those things in before he takes an eye out?
Or
c) Hide behind a cubicle wall, stick a camera-phone in the air, and hope to get a good enough picture to post for all to see?

Since I'm not very stealth due to over active synovial membranes in my knee joints, and since I've never considered myself much of a man...I was really only left with one option.

THE PEOPLE OF WAL*MART SPROUTS

Imagine a place where sleeve sprouts are worn like badges of honor and the term fashion faux pas is just some fancy french talk for "shut the hell up and give me my damn freedom fries." Well imagine no further because Wal*Mart not only delivers some of the finest sprouts grown in the USA but serves them with a side order of mullet stew and a little sexual ambiguity to boot. Lookin' fierce fellas!!





Thank you People of Wal*Mart for making sprout hunting that much easier!

THE LOVE CHILD SPROUT

Did you ever wonder what a Geico caveman and a Capital One viking love child would look like if he was left to be raised by the Apple sales team?

I'm thinking something like this. An early Cro-magnon looking fellow with nasty sprouts and clumsy meat hands, who spends his days desperately trying to figure out how to get the fire out of the latest zippo app. Poor guy.