THE SLEEVE SPROUT CONNECTION

(To the tune of Rainbow Connection)

Why are there sleeve sprouts on this small muppet,
and why are they twice his size?
Sleeve sprouts are evil, its that plain and simple,
and sleeve sprouts should just up and die!

Some tuck and fold them,
and think that will cure it.
They will be back, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the Sleeve Sprout connection
the polos, the t-shirts, and me

Who said that undershirts should be seen and noticed
when they are two sizes too large;
Some loser thought of it
and some sucker believed it.
Look what its done so far.

Its so amazing how people are lazy
and really believe we won't see.
Someday we'll find it, the Sleeve Sprout connection.
the polos, the t-shirts, and me

All of us under its spell, we know that this fashion is tragic.

Have you been half asleep and really not notice—
that thing's as big as my face.
Its quite apparent that you've hit rock bottom
and that you will never get laid.

I've seen them too many times to ignore it.
Its something that no one should see.
Someday we'll find it, the Sleeve Sprout connection,
the polos, the t-shirts, and me.

FLORIAN vs. ALDO vs. SPROUT

I'm surprised Jose Aldo even had the energy to fight, let alone defeat, Kenny Florian at this past Saturday's UFC title fight, after getting his @ss handed to him by a surly sprout. As seen from this picture it looks like the sprout used a classic arm-bar forcing his opponent to tap out before even getting to the ring. Time to get the cauliflower out of your ear and listen up little lady: If the sprout wants you down, it will take you down.

KISS ME, I'M A SPROUT

Instead of spending his time trying to banish nonexistent snakes from Ireland, St. Patrick should've focused his efforts more on getting sprouts out of the downtown area of White Plains. Everything from budding sprouts to fully bloomed sleeves could be seen stumbling about in a drunken green haze last night. I realize now that it's not drinking that brings out the worst in people, it's being Irish.

SPROUTS HATE GRUNGE

Take heed my flannel wearing friend, it's been rumored that it was actually Kurt Cobain's sleeve sprouts that shot him in the face and not a suicide after all. So stay true to your 90s fashion all you want but I wouldn't fall asleep next to any loaded firearms in the near future. Eddie Vedder actually sleeps shirtless for this exact reason...true story.

THE CAMO SPROUT

Here we have an interesting anthropological find, where common man is seen in his natural three-walled habitat looking triumphant in what he clearly mistakes as a victory over the protruding sleeve sprout. You can tell by the way this simple creature licks his lips and throws his hands in the air in jubilation with the belief that a matching color undershirt cleverly hides the advancing surculus sleevritus. Obviously this species has a long way to evolve.Click image for enhanced evaluation.