THE GANGSTA SPROUT

This gangsta-in-training didn't think sleeve sprouts alone made him look thug enough, so he gave his ensemble a little upgrade with the first ever hat sprout. Sadly for him, the Bloods passed on having a registration tent at the Big E this year, so it looks like he wore his best capris pants with white stockings for nothing. Its too bad because I think he would have made a wonderful wife for some lucky inmate. Maybe next year.

THE RESULTS

The masses have spoken and they have crowned sleeve sprouts as the king of all t-shirt afflictions...so choke on that executives at Hanes. Sure, you may have your fancy ivory palaces with toilets made of gold, but you can't hurt us now because tonight belongs to me and the other 18 people that have voted. Sing it Patti!

DAS ÄRMELSCHöSSLING

September 12, 2010: Octoberfest, the one time of year when Germans can come out of hiding to semi-proudly celebrate their love for lederhosen, was ruined the other day by one man and his droopy undershirt. The dangling sprout had contaminated a batch of potato pancakes and sent several Hasselhoff impersonators to the ER. Joe Rao, the disproportionately shaped weatherman from News 12, was on the scene and had this to say,"Looks like its gonna be a cold day in Berlin with a 90% chance of sprouts." Lookin' good Joe!

THE BIG SPROUT

Trying to desperately relive her 1980s youth, it looks like the only thing that got bigger for this patron of the dark arts was her undershirt sleeve. If those sprouts grow any more they're gonna be able to play "Heart and Soul" all by themselves. Let's just hope it doesn't get worse and you wake up tomorrow looking like Tom Hanks.

THE SLEEVE SPROUT vs. THE BACON NECK

Does Hanes honestly think that "bacon neck" is a clever moniker?
And do they really think that it is an actual problem…let alone, a bigger problem than sleeve sprouts?

I honestly hope not.

I would expect this kind of half-assed advertising from the Fruit of the Looms group whose best idea was to dress up some loser in a grape costume, but not from the company that has MJ on their roster. Time to stop drinking on the job boys…this isn't the set of Mad Men. Expect to receive a formal letter of complaint soon.

And now it’s time to hear from you!!
Which do you think is the least lame term? Answer the survey in the left column and I will post the results at the end of the month.